This past week I had a rare double treat on the same day.  First, I met up with my very first real manager. Later that afternoon, I had lunch with my first direct report.

It was a full-circle kind of day, two bookends of my leadership journey, back to back. And in both conversations, we found ourselves doing a lot of remembering and laughing about old moments, naming lessons learned, tracing how far everyone had come..  At one point, I found myself thanking them both, but for different gifts they provided me along the way in my leadership journey.  

In reconnecting with my former manager I was reminded of what made that relationship so pivotal in my own growth and development.  

As usual she was thoughtful, asking about my family and how they were doing.  Over time, we became more than just manager and employee, we became friends. I went to her wedding. She was my manager when I first became a father. I never doubted that she cared about me as a whole person and as a result I was much more receptive to her feedback as a manager.  Care came first and growth followed.

As the conversation shifted from personal updates into professional ones, I was reminded of another reason why I appreciated her approach to management: our conversations often sparked new insights for me.  

Our check-ins weren’t just status updates, they were places to reflect out loud, to wrestle with ideas, to test assumptions. She acted as a sounding board more than a directive voice. And most importantly, she gave me room to try things.

I joined the team with a strong sense of agency, but that was bolstered by the autonomy she encouraged.  This is what built my confidence as a young leader, knowing that my manager trusted me enough to take some risks.

Later, this would be a defining feature of my approach to management as well. Like most managers, I didn’t invent my style out of thin air. I replicated what I experienced. I tried to lead the way I had been led, by offering trust, autonomy, and space to grow. As I was reminded over lunch with one of my first direct reports, sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn’t.  Fortunately, in her case it worked well.

Here’s one way you know that your management style is leading to real impact: years later you still have relationships with those same people.  

If it feels like all you did was give your people a chance to shine, you’re probably doing something right.  

If it feels like you’re still invested in their growth and development all these years later, you definitely were.  

As managers our legacy goes beyond the day to day results that we cajole out of our team.  Your legacy is built on the confidence you grew, the agency you instilled, and the leaders who learned how to lead because of how you showed up.

At ManagerEQ, we believe every manager deserves the tools to build that kind of legacy—intentionally, not accidentally.

If you’re thinking about one meaningful gift this season whether for yourself or for a manager you believe in, choose the one that compounds over time.

Choose the ManagerEQ app.  Because the best managers don’t just get results, they leave people better than they found them.