It was probably one of the most difficult decisions I’d ever made professionally, made even more tough because it required me to swallow my pride and admit that I was neither ready nor willing to take on this new challenge. The year was 2010 and our organization was in the middle of massive growth. The country was still climbing out of an economic recession caused by the collapse of the financial markets in 2008 and we were the recipients of an influx of federal dollars in education through the Race to the Top Initiative. As a result, we were poised to more than triple our staff over the course of the next few years. Along with that growth would come new opportunities for leadership.
Walking out of our senior leadership team meeting where we’d just reviewed the proposed expanded org chart, I was excited, but nervous. What would this mean for me? Was I really prepared for this kind of jump in responsibilities? Honestly, I was already struggling enough as a new manager, I wasn’t sure I could handle much more. One of my (very ambitious) colleagues pulled me aside in the hallway sharing his own excitement about our growth potential and asked if I was going to apply for the newly created leadership role. I demurred because I didn’t know what else to say at the time. I didn’t really have a good answer (I mean who wants to say to your peer… I’m terrified at this opportunity and I don’t think I’m up for it).
Later, in a check-in with my boss I came clean. To his credit, he laid out the scenario pretty clearly. We both knew my strengths and weaknesses as a leader, but he had a better vision for what the future role would entail and how competitive I would be as a candidate. Only I could determine if I had the desire to close the gap. He was frank: we both know you’re not quite ready for this leap. However, if you tell me that you want to spend the next six months getting ready, I’ll do everything in my power as your manager and coach to get you there. That’s some of the best coaching I could have received in that moment because it created the space for me to decide what I really wanted.
Curiously, this was a decision that now feels ahead of its time. A trend that most mid-career professionals are facing right now is how to pivot amidst economic uncertainty. Business Insider recently reported that the group hardest hit are squarely in my own age demographic, elder millennials. BI writes: Millennials in management are in a tough spot. Caught somewhere between entry-level roles and the C-Suite, they're especially vulnerable to the Great Flattening, a trend of eliminating middle managers brought on by companies' desires to cut costs and bureaucracy. Those who are let go may have to accept lower pay or titles in their next role, while those who remain are left to take on extra responsibilities and reports.
This is why my decision to opt out, to realign with purpose over promotion, feels even more relevant now. Ultimately what I decided was that I not only was I not ready, but I wasn’t interested either in trying to get ready. I didn’t want to spend six months trying to become someone I wasn’t sure I wanted to be. I choose a different path, one that ultimately two years later led to the creation of an entirely new team aligned with work I was more passionate about.
I was tempted to get caught up in the excitement of growth, but in doing so I would have lost my purpose in the process. This was my first time professionally saying no to an opportunity, all because I had the clarity of mind and the support from a leader to know what to say yes to. Every employee deserves that kind of support. And every manager should be trained to give it. Ultimately it leads to better decisions, in the short and long run.
